Crimson Regret and Betrayal
by squaredancer
Summary: A collection of small, random ficlets. All very sad. First chapter is a touching songfic about life after Lily and James. Remus' point of view. RR!
1. See The Sun

Crimson Regret and Betrayal  
  
Inspired by the song 'See The Sun' by Dido {Song has been altered slightly}  
  
***  
  
I'm coming round to open the blinds  
  
You cannot hide here any longer.  
  
Remus sat alone in a dank, cold bedroom. Crying. He had never been one to cry, but when the situation ever arose it was never for something silly. Definitely not silly. His head lay in his hands, his shoulders slumped in defeat. Tears made their way from his eyes, silently down his nose before dropping onto his stained, dirtied and crinkled robes.  
  
My God you need to rinse those puffy eyes  
  
You cannot lie still any longer  
  
Lily and James were dead. Years of struggle, triumph, happiness and sorrow were for nothing. They life they had tried to create for themselves was over, the participants just pawns in a harsh battle of chess. The difference was that the pieces wouldn't recreate themselves. They were broken players, discarded to the side of the board. Stone faces unchangeable. Stone faces cold.  
  
And yes, they'll ask where you've been And you'll have to tell them again and again  
  
Remus had received the news that day. The Wizarding world had rejoiced. Partied. Celebrated. Celebrated the death of tow of his best friends. The anniversary of Lily and James' death would always be that of rejoice. Because it was the day the Dark Lord was defeated. Those words. "Lily and James are dead." Louder than a gunshot and softer than a baby's laugh.  
  
And you probably don't want to hear tomorrows another day But I promise you you'll see the sun again  
  
By some miracle, Harry had survived. The only living memory of Lily and James. The only mark that they had made in the word, excluding the mark on the hearts of others. He would grow up an idol. His mother and father forgotten in the chaos that will be Harry's fame.  
  
And you're asking why pains the only way to happiness And I promise you you'll see the sun again  
  
Offering to take Harry in, as James and Lily would have wanted it, Remus had prepared to move Harry into the house. But his offer was declined. In one day he had lost his two best friends, the other two nowhere to be found. Remus was worried. What if he wasn't really dead? What if You Know Who had gone after Sirius and Peter? And would he be next? Would the angry Death Eaters attempt to finish what You Know Who had started and kill Harry? Remus' one last speck of hope. His one ray of sunshine.  
  
Come on take my hand We're going for a walk I know you can  
  
Angry, confused and very sorrowful, Remus had left the Ministry. He had been questioned on his whereabouts, the whereabouts of Sirius and Peter, Dumbledore, Hagrid and even Lily and James.  
  
"What do you mean you don't know where they were? You were their best friend."  
  
"Yes, but I was not their secret keeper."  
  
"Secret keeper?"  
  
"Yes. They knew that You Know Who wanted them dead. It was in the prophecy."  
  
"Ah. Yes, I have heard rumors. What is the prophecy?"  
  
"I do not know."  
  
"Alright. Who is their secret keeper."  
  
"I don't suppose it matters now, it was Peter."  
  
"Peter?"  
  
"Peter Pettigrew."  
  
"Where is he?"  
  
"I told you, I don't know."  
  
"And Sirius?"  
  
"Don't know."  
  
"What do you know?"  
  
"Lily and James are dead."  
  
You can wear anything, as long as it's not black Please don't mourn forever, they aren't coming back  
  
Convinced that everyone was wrong, that it was all a hoax, Remus had left the Ministry and gone straight to the site. The site of the murder. As sure as the sun was shining bright, the house that Lily, James and Harry had been residing in was nothing but a large, smoking pile of rubble. The Dark Mark still hovered above in the blue sky, though it was faded and blotchy. One could only know it was the Dark Mark if they knew exactly what had gone on there. Other than that, it appeared a slightly abnormal cloud to the eyes of a passer by.  
  
And yes, they'll ask where you've been And you'll have to tell them again and again  
  
He climbed through the piles of rubble, skinning his legs through his robes, staining and tearing the material on snags of concrete and puddles and piles of strangle colored substances. He walked lightly along a fallen beam to come to a 'clearing' of sorts right in the middle of all the rubble.  
  
And you probably don't want to hear tomorrows another day But I promise you you'll see the sun again  
  
The sun came out from behind a large black cloud on the horizon, the sunlight glinting and gleaming of one thing and one thing only. A white baby's crib. Right in the middle of a charred black circle that had a radius of at least three meters. The contents of the crib appeared untouched, perfect in every way except for the small crumples showing that a baby had lain there not long ago.  
  
And you're asking why pains the only way to happiness And I promise you you'll see the sun again  
  
Remus took a deep breath and wiped at a tear that had tried to escape unchecked. He turned and left the cleared circle, making his way as fast as he dared back away from the house. At the edge of the rubble he turned for one last look at the house that Lily and James had lived in. Had Harry's first birthday in. Talked, laughed and cried in. Died in.  
  
And I promise you you'll see the sun again  
  
Just as he turned, once again, to leave, something caught his eyes. Something that was unlike everything else that was left behind. A yellowed piece of paper, pinned down by a large piece of wood. He lifted it up and threw the piece of wood away. Underneath he found the paper and a small blue rattle with a Quidditch player painted on it.  
  
Do you remember telling me you'd found the sweetest thing of all You said one day of this was worth dying for  
  
He picked them up and quickly pocketed them as two Ministry workers walked onto the site.  
  
"Excuse me, this is a restricted area. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."  
  
Remus nodded and walked slowly down the street. He could still hear them as he walked.  
  
"And over there, Peter, is the strangest thing. A Crib stood right in the middle of what looks like what might have been some sort of explosion."  
  
So be thankful you knew them at all But it's no more  
  
He walked slowly, making sure that he was alone before pulling out the rattle and paper. The rattle was slightly charred on one side, but other than that it was in perfect condition. He took a deep breath as a wave of grief hit him when he looked at the paper. James' handwriting was bold and vibrant on the parchment. It said "To Mr. Sirius Black, 12 Grimmaul...."  
  
And you probably don't want to hear tomorrows another day But I promise you you'll see the sun again  
  
Remus had gone in search of Sirius or Peter after that. He had gone to Grimmauld Place in search of Padfoot, only to find his brother, Regulus was at home. Needless to say, Remus left quickly, dodging all sorts of spells in order to keep all his limbs. Sadly but surely, he went to Godric's Hollow but Sirius wasn't there either. The house was cold and empty.  
  
And you're asking why pains the only way to happiness And I promise you you'll see the sun again  
  
Then he decided to try and find Peter. He flooed to Peter's house only to be told by his mother that Peter had moved out the night before.  
  
"Last night?"  
  
"Yes, love. In an awful hurry 'e was too."  
  
"He never said a word!"  
  
"Well, 'e never told me where 'e was moving to. Said that 'e 'ad a lot of things to be gettin' on wi'."  
  
And you probably don't want to hear tomorrows another day But I promise you you'll see the sun again  
  
Remus could feel that something fishy was going on. Peter, Lily and James secret keeper, was gone. Disappeared the night before Lily and James had died. Sirius, also disappeared, was already known to be quite hasty in his actions. Remus thought that perhaps it wasn't You Know Who or his Death Eaters killing his remaining friends he should be worrying about, but his friends making hasty assumptions and killing each other.  
  
And you're asking why pains the only way to happiness And I promise you you'll see the sun again  
  
Exhausted and beaten, Remus had gone back to his house to sleep. He had tried, but tossing and turning was not his idea of a good slumber. Not at all. Not sure why he could not do anything, especially sleep, he had been about to get up when he saw a letter from Lily on the carpet. He neat, perfect handwriting stung his eyes and brought immense pain to his heart.  
  
He could have sworn that his heart had broken in that very instant. He would receive no more letters from Lily, the wife of his best friend. Never get to watch James catch another snitch. Never be named Godfather of their next child, as it was going to be.  
  
And so he sat on his bed in his cold, dank bedroom, his head in his hands, his shoulders slumped in defeat and wept. Tears slipped from his eyes and traveled down his nose, dripping onto his stained, dirtied and crinkled robes.  
  
But I promise you you'll see the sun again 


	2. Murderous Intentions

"It'll be alright 'Mione," Ron comforted, rubbing her shoulder affectionately as it bobbed up and down with the sobs that she was trying to hold in. She turned to face him, her face full of despair and her eyes twinkling with unshed tears.  
  
"Alright?" she asked meekly, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. "How can it ever be alright now? It will never be right."  
  
Ron wrapped his arms securely around her, wanting nothing more than to comfort her, protect her and lift the pain off her shoulders. He hated to see her hurting, to see her heart in such tremendous turmoil. And as much as he wished it, there was no way to remove the heartache she was feeling, only to distract her and make her forget until she was strong enough to face it properly.  
  
He held on tighter, rubbing her back soothingly as loud sobs wracked her body, becoming nothing more than a blubbering blob of tears. But a blob that was his best friend and he would remain with her for as long as he could.  
  
"I know it can never be the same, love, but it can be alright." He whispered reassuring words into her hair, like settling an edgy horse. The words had no real meaning, just words said in a soothing tone of voice, bridling the bristling mare to calm. Only this wasn't a bristling mare, but an aching human being, a woman with a dying hope and battered faith. It would take a lot to get her back to even a shadow of her former self.  
  
"No Ron. Never alright, never the same. The world is a dark place now and that's all it will ever be to my eyes. Dark, desolate and lacking."  
  
Ron understood. He sighed, not in impatience or annoyance, but in acceptance. It felt much the same way to him. "I know exactly how you feel," he whispered. "But if we don't hope it will get better, what else have we to live for?"  
  
Hermione pulled away slightly, looking up at Ron with red, swollen eyes. "Hope? Hope is nothing but a memory, a dream, when Harry isn't here anymore. He's left us Ron. He's on another plane, another land, another universe. The only way I will ever... ever see him again is if I join him."  
  
Ron's eyes darkened with emotion and he eyed Hermione darkly. "If you joined him? On another plane? I hope you don't mean what I think you do."  
  
"You know exactly what I mean, Ronald Weasley," she snapped irritably, tears filling her eyes again. "It's the only way I can be with him. It's the only way--"  
  
"No!" he shouted, attracting a few glances from neighbouring people. He didn't care if people were watching, he just didn't care. "That is a cowards way of thinking, Hermione!"  
  
She watched, a little shocked at Ron's reaction. She felt a pang of guilt as she watched the redness creep up his neck from the collar of his robes and his eyes were swamped with pain.  
  
"Harry would not have wanted you to do that! Both he and I would die a thousand deaths to prevent you from taking such desperate measures. Only cowards and selfish people would ever think about taking that option. Too cowardly to face their life and make something of it and too selfish to take on board what it would do to the people that love them! I thought you were smarter than that, Hermione."  
  
That last part stung her and she realized how idiotic she was being.  
  
"You're right, Ron," she replied, lowering her gaze. "I wasn't thinking straight. It's just so hard. We made a pact. A bond of marriage and I thought we would never be apart. I didn't think the 'till death do us part' would ever apply to us. I thought I knew we had all our lives."  
  
"But you didn't."  
  
"But we didn't," she agreed with a sniffle. "And I despise myself for being so blind. So careless. So late to dinner."  
  
Ron looked at her amazedly. "You blame yourself! Oh lord, Hermione. Is your head not screwed on properly? You have always been able to keep your head in the worst of situations but this one seems to have wiped you blank! Hermione, it is not your fault Harry was killed."  
  
He paused, looking for the right way to say this without having her burst into tears again.  
  
"He was... he was attacked from behind. No one knew the guy was an ex-death eater. No one knew he was Voldemort's right hand man after Peter was killed. No one knew he was ticking time bomb waiting for revenge for the fall of the Dark Lord. No one. Not you, me or Harry. What we do know was that Harry never saw it coming, never got a chance to retaliate, died quickly and that the killer was a coward not to have the heart to face him in a real duel. And that he is dead. That is all the comfort I can offer you on the justice part."  
  
"Ron, you were there. You were sitting across from Harry." She went silent, seeing the haunted look in his eyes.  
  
"I have been asked this a million times, Hermione," he told her placidly. "I did not see his face. Or the cause of the explosion the killed him."  
  
Hermione nodded quietly, accepting his answer. "I'm sorry, I had to ask.."  
  
"It's alright," Ron replied, smiling wryly. "You look tired. Perhaps you should get some rest, eh?"  
  
Hermione nodded and stood on tiptoe, kissing Ron lightly on the nose. "Night Ron."  
  
"Night love," he answered. "And try to get some sleep. Tossing and turning does nothing to reprise the situation." Hermione nodded and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.  
  
Ron slumped his shoulders in despair and collapsed onto his bed. It had been almost a week since it had happened. Almost a week since Harry had left, never to return. The night it had happened rang clear and loud within his head, a silent reverberation within his mind that he pushed to the back during the day and a movie that forced forwards to play over and over again in the silence of the night.  
  
He could remember every detail of the restaurant clear in his head, every detail of Harry's apparel, the food on the plate in front, the clicking heels of the waitress three tables away... the face of Harry's murderer.  
  
Ron shivered unconsciously. The face of Harry's murderer. He could recall the face right down to the last wrinkle, shadow and freckle. The shoes he was wearing, the way had his hair styled, the clothes he had been wearing.  
  
Harry's smiling face as he waited for Hermione to arrive, his anticipation about telling her the name he had chosen for their soon to be baby boy. The happy twinkle in his eyes as he told Ron how happy he was, how much he liked the coffee that was served there. The happy laughter within the establishment, the hushed silence that ensued after the attack. The sudden chaos and confusion as the explosion hit.  
  
... The murderous look on Neville Longbottoms' face as he pulled out his wand and aimed it at Harry's back...  
  
Ron's shock and disbelief as he rose to ask what was going on and as the spell hit Harry square in the head. The blind rage as Ron pulled out his own wand and, in turn, raised it to aim straight at Neville. Not waiting for any sort of reasoning he had cast a spell at the same time as Neville, the explosion as the two spells merged and detonated knocking him off his feet and winding him. Killing Neville.  
  
Three days later, Neville reported missing, his grandmother dead in an attempt on her life that had succeeded. Neville presumed dead also. Ron felt no need in causing unnecessary pain. He would bear the burden of knowing that one of His and Harry's most trusted friends had been one of their worst enemies on his own. He could handle it.... 


End file.
